They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
