the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize