I hate all girls vehemently.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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