I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
