she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
