grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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