As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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