i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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