He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
