I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize