please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize