I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
is it fun? or sober?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
