I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
