so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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