I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
