Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
