so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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