I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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