Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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