Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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