Will you blow on my dice?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
