the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
