I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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