He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
