I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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