can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
