Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
