I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I had to cum in my sink.
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