Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
