Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize