When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
