Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We left the knife in your bed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
