he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
