accomplished twins. life is a go
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
