you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
