There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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