the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
