which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
