I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
