no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
