haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
