No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
