ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
