As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
