The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
