Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
