I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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