he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
