I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
