just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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