omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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