I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
