Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
