holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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