Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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