He is an equal opportunity slut.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
