Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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