i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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