i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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