Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
