wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
