i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize