rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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