I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
