I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
