I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
