I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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