a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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