the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
