i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
