It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
